I Was Just Trying to Help You (P'nina)

I was just trying to help you,
When I called you ugly names,
And laughed at you over dinner,
And mocked you on the Sabbath.
You absorbed my insults in silence.
The sad little muffled tears
You cried made me feel a bit
Sorry for you. Almost.

I was just trying to help you,
When I showed you my fat babies,
And made you hold their soggy bottoms,
And asked you to change soiled linens.
You swallowed your envy and shame.
The bloodshot, half-lidded eyes
You cast my way made me feel
Sorry for you. Almost.

I was just trying to help you,
When I urged you to stop weeping
And feeling sorry for yourself,
And bemoaning your barrenness.
Your heart was closed and also your ears.
Nobody could hear your prayers,
And your muffled wails made me feel
Sorry for you. Almost.

I was just trying to help you,
More than you ever knew,
Because I knew you had the greatest
Gifts of all, a man's true love,
The love of a giving God,
A soul with unexplored depths,
Determination of pure iron,
And a voice that could reach
The heavens and open their doors.

I was just trying to help you,
And you hated me for it, I know,
Because I pushed you to pray harder,
And needled you to sing louder,
And salted your heart's wounds
So you had no choice but to cry out
To God Himself to answer you.
Because I did all these things
For you, for all these years,
Your prayer was heard at last.

So I was just trying to help you.
I know you really don't hate me.
And I you know I don't hate you.
Now we are together as a family,
As it should be, and I don't have to
Feel sorry for you anymore. Almost.