At the Mercy of the Moon

Tripping over myself
In an attempt to look like I was in control in
A crowded room, on a humid night, amid a hundred people
Drinking, dancing, laughing, and
Watching each other.

I didn't even see you on the dance floor.
I saw other faces, some familiar, some strange.
I heard voices swallowing each other, and I heard the
Endless thrum of the music
Outside and inside.
But then in a second I turned around and you were there.
You looked into my eyes briefly and we started to dance.
Contrary to habit I didn't think about it or analyze it.
I just danced, feeling your skin, your sweat, your warmth
Pressing into mine.

It's on those nights in the middle of August that
Excitement and movement can make it impossible to breathe.
We tumbled out the door, onto the patio, and into
Arms that were yielding as soft rubber, kisses hungry like a
Thirsty cat drinking water.
Somehow, we kept moving, moving to the music and the shouts,
Off the patio and onto the lawn.

My mind came back to me at the worst time, protesting such
A display of abandon with someone whose name I'd barely known
For less than an hour, but I quickly shut down that voice and
Focused on the feel of your warm skin, the cool wet grass, the still air
and the thick blanket of darkness around us.

Until suddenly, illumination.
A sluggish summer cloud wandered on its way and revealed the
Klieg light of a full moon above us
Showing our bodies entwined as clear
As if we were playing on the lawn at noon.

Yet no voices shouted, the music kept raging, and you
Would not let me pull away.
We paused for a breath at last, and in a moment,
Conspired to break away to a distant place, a
More private place.
Our plot was cast just in time, for
Another set of glaring lights approached us from the side;
A helpful police cruiser, sirenless, lit us as we reclined.
Like guilty sophomores we dashed off, off into the night,
Our path lit only by the occasional glimpse of that merciless moon.

It was only hours later that I saw that moon again,
Or noticed it, perhaps.
Streaming through the slats of the blinds,
The moonlight showed me the side of your body,
And I suppressed a gasp as I saw
A trail of marks, scars of a past battle, something you
Had powerfully overcome.
I traced a hand softly down your skin, and felt only
The merest trace of whatever had ravaged you,
And you said nothing.
Your breath was soft and still.

And when the moon was obscured once again
By one of those slow summer clouds,
Your body was once again only something I felt
Rather than saw, and you felt strong and safe
To press against, so I shut the voice down again and
We curled together in the darkness.